Stranded

Everyone’s leaving me it seems. Oh I know, they’re not leaving me…not exactly. They’re leaving this place. I don’t blame them, not in the least. Why would anyone want to stay here? It’s dull, hot, dusty, and monotonous... it’s a nightmare.

Nothing exciting ever happens on Tatooine.

Revving up the engines of my Skyhopper, I blast away from my Aunt and Uncle’s moisture farm. My ship devours the landscape and roars rapidly over the arid landscape sending air through the windows and into my cockpit. If I were to close my eyes I could almost imagine that I’m not here on this sand covered rock, but instead I’m flying through space. My heart longs for space…a place where I’ve never been, or visited, but for some reason feels like home. I imagine it is cold there. I’d love to be cold – I wonder what that feels like? I can only imagine for it rarely gets cold here on Tatooine.

Sometimes my dreams are alarmingly vivid, I see the insides of ships, I hear gruff voices, and my heart yearns for these strange and faceless people…and I don’t know why. I see things that I don’t understand. I see swamps, glorious green fields with vibrant rushing waterfalls, and I see a city in the clouds. A chuckle rumbles in my throat. Crazy dreams, only you, Skywalker would imagine such ridiculous things.

Nobody understands me…well that’s wrong...Biggs did. Biggs understood that spending one’s life on this dusty planet wasn’t living, but was more like being enduring a life-long prison sentence.  It’s so easy to accept the status quo, to be happy with what you have and not yearn for a better more thrilling life, to be like Cammi, or Fixter and simply enjoy what they’ve got and not desire anything else.

 But I can’t do that.

Don’t ask me why, but I believe I’m destined for greater things. Uncle Owen flat out refuses to listen to me whenever I try explaining to him that I don’t feel I belong here. Instead he expertly redirects me on the path of a long guilt trip about how he needs me to keep this farm afloat and if I were to leave it would die.

How can I argue with that?  I can’t. Uncle Owen can’t run this farm by himself, he’s getting old and I know he’s looking to me to take over the farm. This farm is all that he possesses, so in essence he’s offering me everything that matters most to him.

How can I refuse such generosity? Who am I to look down upon his gift?

I owe my aunt and uncle everything. They took care of me when no one else would – when apparently there was no one else to take care of me. They’re all the family that I’ve got.  My father died and they agreed to raise me. They never talk about if they’d ever wanted their own child or not, instead Owen and Beru treat me like their own son. I love them deeply and dearly, but I just fear that they don’t understand me. How can they? They’ve never left this dustball of a world, they’ve never been anywhere. They’re happy being here and they can’t understand why I’m not.

I veer my Skyhopper towards Beggar’s Canyon. Last moon, before Biggs left for the ImperialAcademy I won my first race there. It was the greatest moment of my life. I actually accomplished something. I was a winner! It was a small victory, I know. It wasn’t like I was an Imperial Officer shooting down rebel forces…but still, it meant something to me. It proved that if I could win at a race, maybe I could win in other areas of my life.

Maybe I will win the battle to leave this place…and finally I’ll no longer be stranded and alone. Maybe my dreams will no longer just exist in my head. Maybe I’ll get to visit all of the stars in the sky and become a galactic traveler. She’s out there waiting for me too. I’ve seen her; a mystery woman with brown hair and bewitchingly brown eyes.  She’s my destiny – I know it.

If I can ever get off of Tatooine.

I park my Skyhopper at the edge of BeggarsCanyon and climb out to of the cockpit into the furnace level heat. Slapping my hat over my head I dash for the shade of an undercropping of rocks. From my belt pouch I pull out a sandwich and take a bite…roasted nerf, heavily spiced.

Beru does know how to cook, I’ll give her that.

My eyes scan the barren landscape. I’m miles from home and can no longer see the homestead. From my vantage point, I also see the complete lack of Tusken Raiders in the area…good, I’m not much in the mood to tussle with them today.