Originally written the summer after Season 6 of Smallville.

So there won’t be any confusion.  These are the Players:

GRClark is George Reeves’

Clark Kent in the Adventures of Superman television series (GR)

CRClark is Christopher Reeve’s Clark Kent in the Superman movies (CR)

DCClark is Dean Cain’s Clark Kent in the New Adventures of Lois and Clark tv series (DC)

SVLois is Erica Durance’s Lois Lane in the Smallville tv series (later ED)

SVClark is Tom Welling’s Clark Kent in the Smallville tv series (later TW)

SRClark is Brandon Routh’s Clark Kent in the Superman Returns movie (SR)

LACKS stands for Live Action Clark Kent Society

Mentioned within the story are:

NNLois is Noel Neill’s Lois Lane in the Adventures of Superman television series (NN)

MKLois is Margot Kidder’s Lois Lane in the Superman movies (MK)

THLois is Terri Hatcher’s Lois Lane in the New Adventures of Lois and Clark tv series (TH)

LALLS = LIVE ACTION LOIS LANE SOCIETY

In the Smallville Drug Store, where time has stood still, sat four men in the back near the soda counter.  

 On one side of the booth sits DCClark, mind mannered reporter for the Daily Planet on The Adventures of Lois and Clark television series, sitting beside him is CRClark, definitely bumbling, mild mannered reporter for the Daily Planet from the Superman movies.  Across from him is seated GRClark, confident, mild mannered reporter for the Daily Planet from The Adventures of Superman TV series.  Next to him is SVClark, dorky farmboy with incredible superhuman powers from the Smallville television series.

“Should we give him a few more minutes?” asked CRClark adjusting his glasses. 

 “Maybe he’s on a mission?” suggested SVClark.

 “Nice try, but he’s been late the last two years.  Apparently his writers didn’t give him the punctuality gene,” grimaced GRClark.  “DC, call the meeting to order.”

 “The Live Action Clark Kent Society is now in session.  Is there any old business?”

 All four men stared at the doorway of the drug store.

“Let’s not get into that just yet,” said SVClark.  “How about some milk shakes?”   He waved at the soda jerk who approached their booth. 

 “What would you gentlemen like to have?” asked the high school aged boy.

 “Do you still make egg crèmes here?” asked GRClark. 

 “We sure do!” smiled the boy. 

 “Good, I’ll have one of those.”

 “I’ll have a malted,” said CRClark.

 “Vanilla shake for me,” said DCClark.

 “Chocolate shake,” said SVClark.

Just then the front door opened and rang the tiny bell attached to its top.   In strode a tall man wearing glasses, who tripped on apparently nothing as he bumped into a man looking at the magazine rack.  “Oops, sorry.”

 “Here he comes,” whispered CRClark as he watched the man approach their booth.  

 SRClark, beyond bumbling, mild mannered reporter for the Daily Planet in the Superman Returns movie, pulled over a chair and sat at the head of the table. “Sorry, I’m late,” he said.  “I had to find a babysitter.”

 The four other men cringed. 

 “Still not married yet, huh?” asked GRClark with a sneer.

 “Nope.  Lois is trying to decide between me and Richard White.”

 “Can I take your order, sir?” asked the boy impatiently.

 “Uh, what are we having?”

 “So far an egg crème, a malted, one vanilla shake and one chocolate shake.”

 “So we’re not eating?  Okay, I’ll have a frappacino.”

 “We don’t have those here,” said the boy rolling his eyes.

 “Oh yea, I forgot.  I’ll have the pina colada shake then,” said SRClark with pride.

 “Don’t forget the umbrella!” said GRClark as he stared at SRClark.  The boy went off to fill their orders. 

 “So what were we talking about?” asked SRClark.

 “Nothing yet, really,” said DCClark.

 “Hey, DC switch places with me.  I’m a movie Clark and should be sitting beside CRClark.  You need to sit with the TV Clarks,” said the newcomer.

 The four men stared him down.

 “Don’t move a muscle, DC,” said CRClark.

 DCClark spoke in his mild mannered explanatory voice, the one he used with THLois when she was off on a tangent.  “But CR and I were married to Lois and the rest of you Clarks are single.”

 “And you have a kid out of wedlock.  So you just stay put,” grumbled GRClark.  

 “Hey, I didn’t know she was pregnant when I left without telling any body!” shouted SRClark.

 “Microvision!” shouted the four men in the booth.

 SVClark snickered.  “Yea, I don’t even have that yet and I know that much.”

 “You check out your Lois’ without them knowing?”

 “Yes!” said all four.

 “It wouldn’t be too smart to tell them, now would it?” said CRClark.

 “SVLois would ream me a new one if she knew,” said SVClark.

 “And THLois,” said DCClark.

 “Definitely NNLois would,” said GRClark.