The stage, the stone and the Sue

It was crisis for the team. Legolas had fainted and no matter what Balthier, Hydraxon or even Morgoth tried, the Elf didn’t wake up. Out of desperation, Balthier had decided to phone me and ask for advice. Morgoth and Hydraxon meanwhile were placing Legolas on board of the Strahl to let him rest.

“I know I’m supposed to be evil and all…” Morgoth said with pity and concern as he watched the unconscious Elf. “But I do feel sorry for Master Legolas. I mean, it’s very understandable why he fainted. That thing is the worst thing to ever exist. I mean, she isn’t even properly evil like I am. She makes everyone ‘luv’ her. What kind of villain does that? Every self-respecting evil would use some sort of darkness, an army of orcs and other nasty stuff to make everybody obey him or her. But what does this Sue do? Act like a selfless heroine by trying to fight the Witch King. Or worse, planning to sing a song to make everyone love her.”

“I know how you feel.” Hydraxon agreed. “Even Maxilos had more dignity than that thing does. At least he had the mercy to just blow me in the ground with a blast of electricity, some magnetism to knock me senseless and blow my head almost apart with his Power Scream. Not to mention he had every intention to finish me off. But what would that Sue do if I were to lie defeated at her feet? Let me live and make me love her.” A shiver ran down the Jailer’s spine.

“Well, we better go and check up on Balthier and see what the chief told him.” Morgoth sighed. After one last look on the unconscious Legolas, the ex-vala and the Jailer of the Pit turned around and left the Strahl.

The two met up with Balthier whose phone talk was apparently over. He had a frown on his face and appeared to be deeply lost in thought. As soon as he noticed Hydraxon and Morgoth, his frown lessened.

“So what did the chief say?” Hydraxon asked quietly.

“Well, apparently the situation seemed so bad even to him that he decided we needed some support.” The skypirate answered.

Hydraxon shook his head. “I doubt even a Bohrok swarm would be enough to halt this thing.” He muttered under his breath so the others wouldn’t hear.

“He also said to not take action until he met up with us.” Balthier added. Morgoth looked surprise.

“You mean the chief himself is coming to Middle Earth again?”

“Seems so.” Balthier shrugged. “Ah, there he comes.”

A black portal opened out of nowhere and I came through followed by two other people.

“How’s Legolas?” I asked worriedly.

“He won’t be up in time to ruin Rosa’s singing performance tonight.” Morgoth sighed with obvious regret in his voice.

“Maybe it’s for the better.” Hydraxon offered, waving with the script. “The script says Aragorn will introduce Legolas to Rosa during the ball and I guess you can pretty much guess what will happen.”

“Say no more!” Balthier snorted.

“I feared as much.” I muttered. “Regardless, the show must not go on! We must ruin Rosa’s performance tonight.”

“I’d be glad to, but I fear rocks won’t do the trick this time, as much as it pains me to admit.” Morgoth said. I smiled at the ex-vala.

“Don’t worry Morgoth, I have brought some friends of me with me, who’ll be glad to help you to make Rosa’s life a hell. But someone will have to look after Legolas.”

“I’ll do that.” Balthier stated. “I’d love to ruin the Sue’s life, but I’m inexperienced when it comes to ruining balls. I usually attend to a ball.”

“Then it’s decided.” I concluded. I turned to my friends. “HATI, Mack, I’m counting on you two to help Hydraxon and Morgoth out. I’ll be looking for AD and Bard in the meantime.”

With that said, I opened another portal and gone I was. Before the portal closed, however, my head popped out again. “Oh and Mack, if you need Tomatoes for throwing, ask Balthier to call me, I’ll gladly send a crate.”

Then I was gone.

---

“Right, so what’s the plan?” Morgoth asked. He, Hydraxon, HATI and Mack were sitting in a circle somewhere in Rivendell, hidden from sight by something. (What something? I have no idea, but it’s not important to the story, so, moving on.)

“Ruin Rosa’s performance.” HATI replied with a shrug.

“I think Morgoth wanted to know how we are going to do that, HATI.” Hydraxon noted, rolling his eyes.

“Oh.”

It became silent for a long while. Then suddenly, HATI’s face brightened with a wide grin. “I have an idea!” And she hurried on to tell the others her plan. After she was done, they were all grinning too.